Conflict And Conflict In Being Prey
It sounds like the opening to a joke, and not a very good one. But for three days, the Michigan conservatives http://rmt.edu.pk/nv/custom/therapist-interview-the-field-of-child-counseling/papas-influence-on-family.php the liberal New Yorkers, driving them in their pick-up trucks to a firing range and a prison museum, sitting down for long, hard conversations, asking and answering many questions. Then, a couple months later, the conservatives came to stay with the liberal New Yorkers, attending services at Andd Upper West Side synagogue wearing borrowed yarmulkes and taking walks in Central Park while arguing about immigration, gay marriage and, of course, Donald Trump.
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How did this happen? High conflict is the kind that has crackled across the country in recent years. It can start small, but it rapidly becomes self-perpetuating and all-consuming. There is an us and a them, and everything becomes very clear, too clear.
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Certain conditions predictably lead to high conflict—including oversimplified, binary choices and buried grievances that go unaddressed. In this state, the brain behaves differently. We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority and, at the same time, more and more mystified by the other side.
When we encounter them, in person or on Facebook, we might feel a tightening in our chest, a dread mixed with rage, as we listen to whatever insane, misguided, dangerous thing the other side says. But there is another kind of conflict—one that is catalytic.
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It sounds like a fantasy, I know. I was skeptical, too. Good conflict is not about surrender or unity. They were leaning into good conflict.
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To understand how this happened means going back in time, when the New Yorkers nearly fell into a high conflict of their own making. The backlash rippled across the city, landing on the front page of The New York Times. People withheld donations. Others left the synagogue forever.
The rabbis were stunned. Like most people who stumble into conflict within their own group, the rabbis apologized and tried to move on. It just goes underground.]
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